Wow...what a little silence can do for a person! Last night in my kindly granted alone time (thank you Matt), I saw myself through a new pair of glasses...and they weren't rose-colored! I invited God into a very private part of my heart that I normally keep all to myself. Not only did He come, but He came in a different mood than I thought He would.(does God have moods?) Anyway, I thought He would be angry and I would be burdened with conviction and guilt. What I found, is that He just wanted to be with me there. He wants to be wanted in that place too, I think. I often picture God as some kind of Barbarian at times....an arrogant, glory-hungry God who allows and directs sin, pain and distruction in our lives so He can be glorified somehow all the more. Where's the dreamy rescue from it all? Anyway, I think I caught a glimpse of more of myself (through my new glasses) than I expected to see. A barbarian God would not have stayed to endure me last night. I think I was heard and loved instead. It was a good night of silence.
4 comments:
I'm glad that God showed you His kindness. He is so good.I really needed to hear that. I think the same thing sometimes. Like I read Noah's arc and think well I would have been drowned because I really don't think I would have obeyed. I would have thought "o.k. when it starts raining I'll take that as my sign ,until then people would just think I am a freak and that would not look good on You. So I won't obey so that You will be glorified." I am so arrogant in my insecurities.Anyway that was beautiful what you did and I'm glad God showed you His compassion. Thanks for sharing that was something I needed to hear. Love you Loutong :)
hey abbey, glad to see you have entered the world of blogging. anderson and elliot must be so big now...i can't believe it has been so long. i really miss raleigh avenue. anyway, check out my page hillsangels.blogspot.com (i have some recent pics of my girls..you remember leslie, right?) or shoot me an email at erinh@plano.gov. later
I'm glad I stumbled onto your blog. I have really enjoyed running into other people's blogs thru ones I already know. There's something almost anonymous about it that makes people more real. I like it. Has it really been a hundred years since Spring Aire?
Hey, I know I already blogged to you. I'm a repeat offender. Actually, I told Quinn that I found your blog and he wondered if your hubby has a blog. Let me know!
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