So I'm supposed to make banana pudding for the church tonight. It's our 15th anniversary as a church. I hope we don't start sowing our "wild oats" together as a church family. You know, those teen years can be rough. ;)
But back to banana pudding.... I'm in Wal -Mart about an hour ago finishing up my list of ingredients. And as you may have noticed, the produce in Wally World is not the best (by a long shot) so I'm having to dig to find pretty bananas, so as to impress all those who partake in my dessert tonight.
And just about the time I had found ones that "would do", a buggy rolled by. And wouldn't you know it, perched atop some salad dressing, a tub of hummus, and some other random items are the most beautiful bananas in the store. My heart filled with greed and I began to covet those bananas. I was burning a hole through them with my gaze.
"When he turns around", I thought, "I'm switching my 'so-so' bananas for his perfect ones." But just as my thoughts were coming to a close... we caught eyes.
Unfortunately (for both parties involved), this is where it went from there....
me: (Full of shame for wanting to steal his produce) "Sorry! I was just eyeing your bananas."
him: blank stare.
me: awkward laugh... "Your bananas... THOSE bananas."
him: awkward, blank stare.
me: panic-stricken stare.
him: Okay?
me: OK! Nervous laugh. Sorry!
Wow.
Why in the heck did I have to say "eyeing" your bananas?
Why couldn't I say something non-sketchy like, "Hey, how are you?" Or "Hi."
Or how about NOTHING!!
I was so ashamed of my evil plan and for some reason felt like he caught me in it.
Moral of this story... don't try to steal other people's fruit in the grocery store. Stealing gets you into trouble, people. Don't even consider doing it. You will wind up talking to a strange man in a public place about his bananas. And it's real awkward.
Peace, Love and all that Jazz.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Happy B'day Fullness! and Dude... Nice Bananas!
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10 comments:
Why couldn't he have just gotten the joke? It made perfect sense to me! Sheesh...
Anyone who eats hummus is not going to understand the humor...It just didn't 'appeal' to him. Afterall, you were going to make a sinfully bad for you dessert. He on the other hand was looking for fresh sprouts to go with his hummus. I'm quite sure your dish with your mediocre bananas tasted much better tonight than anything he dished up.
peeing my pants...
Quinn didn't get it.
note well taken. you crack me up.
I was just reading a ladies blog and she was talking about her husband going to the store and some strange lady talking about his bananas!
OK...just kidding, but that would have been hilarious!
Not that your story on its own is not hilarious because it is! I just peeeed in my pants and got the sudden craving for bananas!
okay.. that is hilarious! I am sure he thought that was the worst pick up line attempt he had ever heard. although it's pretty funny to me.
how did your dessert come out?
So, I have to admit ... when I went shopping for bananas (and other stuff, of course), there was a strange man choosing bananas. It was all I could do to avoid eye contact and not burst out laughing ... then he could have blogged about the strange woman who laughed who laughed at his bananas. :)
I found this entry after seeing your comment on the LPM blog and all I can say is ... ROFL!
(And to Marsha: I eat hummus and I totally got the humor! ;))
Saw your comment on Beth's blog and just had to come hear your grocery story... TOOOO FUNNY!
Saw your comment on Beth's blog and had to read! That was funny! I hope your pudding turned out great with "second rate" bananas!
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