I'm back from the beach. Another annual birthday trip with my friend Sybil come and gone. And I gotta say, it's a bittersweet return. As much as I loved seeing my kids jumping up and down with excitement as I pulled up, and greeting my relieved husband with a kiss, ...what a sad departure it was this morning to drive away and watch my favorite God place on earth disappear behind me in the rear-view mirror. I call it my favorite God place because He always reveals Himself clearly to me there. Maybe I just listen harder. Maybe He just loves the beach too. Anyway, whatever the reason, we usually always spend special time together there. It most always goes something like this...
Before I can even get settled in my room, I throw on appropriate attire, and as fast as I can , head to the beach with nothing but a chair and a towel. I sit in front of the water and stare out as far as I can possibly see, close my eyes, and breathe in deeply...taking in all the beautiful details of the sights and sounds. It's my favorite place...adventurous and peaceful. Simple, yet incredibly detailed. I just see God everywhere. I usually hear Him too. I did all of those things, and took it all in, as I do every year. It was awesome.
However, I had a much deeper experience with God at the beach this year. He took me completely off guard and caught me defenseless. It wasn't outside under our normal, controlled, "I'm so in love with Your beautiful creation" kind of meeting. Where I talk to Him with teary eyes and a grateful heart. Not this time. He overwhelmed me when I didn't see Him coming. I wasn't looking for the encounter, so I couldn't make any of the rules. All I can say is it was a time of total wailing before Jesus. It was as if the tears were coming up from the deepest of wells inside myself. I got up from my bed where I was reading, and rushed quickly to the tiny hotel bathroom (the only place one can be alone while with a friend in a hotel room) I went directly to the floor and with my head resting on the lid of the toilet, I wept. I could not resist His invitation to come before Him at that very moment, just as I was. Unfixed and unclean. I have known that my whole life. It's everywhere in scriprture..the point behind the free gift of salvation, I know. But it's where we are, me & God. On a journey. Simple truths coming to life inside my very soul. We grieved together. Sobbing and crying. Sadness and brokeness poured out before the very throne of God. And don't think I didn't laugh too, as I realized I was kneeling before the "throne" in the hotel bathroom!!
He is present. He is stirring me. Healing me. It felt good to not resist Him.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
His Irresistable Throne...
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4 comments:
looks (and sounds)like a great trip abbey. you really challenge me in my walk with God and i'm glad the time spent with him and his creation was precious.
on a more superficial note..you have gotten way thin since i last saw you. you've got to give me some pointers on the whole jogging thing.
This is how I started out, and it really works if you stick with it..We marked off a 3 mile course. Then we started our first week running 1 min/walking 4 mins. I would do this this cycle for a week (three to four times) Then the next week we would bump up to run 2minutes/walk 3minutes on the same 3 mile course. Then repeat that for 3 to 4 times during that week. Keep bumping it up 1 minute on the running, and in a few months, you're running 3 miles...that's a 5K! It was fun for me, because I was a part of a running group at my church. One of the ladies does that as sort of a ministry to other ladies. It's like weekly therapy!! You get to know everyone really well, and it's great exercise!
The hardest part about it at first, was me learning to get up in the wee hours of the morning to get my runs in, so as to not miss out on so much evening family time. (That part is still a challenge!!)
oh man, i am so jealous. the beach is my "god=place" too, but i haven't been able to go in a bazillion years.
thanks for sharing your heart here. :)
hey cool thanks. it sounds like a neat way to start jogging with other people. do you think it can work on a treadmill? i also found a great way to burn some calories today. find a playground with one of those old merry go round things. push your kids around that thing about 10 times and you will be exhausted and your kids will be happy.
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